Where am I Now?
I’m disappointed that I haven’t been able to completely eliminate drinking. However, I have been able to cut back tremendously – from approaching 2 bottles of red wine a day to either a 6-pack of strong beer or a bottle of red wine twice a week. How do I feel about that? Well, definitely progress – but also just as definitely not where I wanted to be. So life goes on and I keep trying.
HOWEVER, in terms of forgiving myself, tackling the scary topics, being more present, and most importantly, finding answers to spiritual questions, I feel like I’ve made truly HUGE strides.
Failures & Progress
Depression
In terms of overall mental health – I’ve realized that my Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) that I thought I knew how to manage, is an entirely new entity all of a sudden. However, in connecting with other women my age, I know now that it’s par for the course, so now I just need to revisit my strategy for dealing with it. Sadly, it’s only now though, that I realize that’s what sent my mom to the hospital every November for years. Hopefully my generation (and a wholistic approach) can find better solutions to SAD issues. This past winter was the worst funk I’ve ever experienced yet, and I ended up passing weeks getting NOTHING done. I’d try to pull together the will to accomplish ANYTHING, and fail miserably.
