I used to have the most lovely collection of rare houseplants. I concentrated on flowering and/or fragrant ones – vining, bush, tall and skinny, draping – didn’t matter – if there was a potential for bloom and/or fragrance (think scented geraniums – I was in).
My favorites are the brugmansias and epiphytes. My kitchen window in northern California always had a lush foliage compliment and at least 3-4 were blooming at any given time.
ASIDE: Moving to Colorado was definitely a challenge. My habit of underwatering versus overwatering probably resulted in better experiences with the less water-needy types. Another thing about growing houseplants in Colorado that I’ve learned – buy COLORADO grown houseplants. (I should really start looking into affiliate links). If you’re not a serious houseplant hobbyist in Colorado – you need to buy plants that are already acclimated to our dry climate. More on that some other day because I’m seriously diverging from the topic at hand. Why am I letting the plants die? It’s not for lack of expertise.
Killing Plants – A Symptom of Depression & Addiction
What I’ve noticed gradually (very gradually) over the past 1.5 years is that I don’t enjoy the things I used to. It’s classic really – it’s part of the Psych manual diagnostics for addiction and depression. Lack of enjoyment from previously pleasurable activities. Diagnostic definitions in the DSM #X (I don’t know which one they’re on now, and frankly don’t care) – are stated so DEFINITIVELY – black and white – either it is or it isn’t. Does your patient enjoy growing houseplants anymore or not? “Let’s assign it a number to aid diagnosis”. Our M.D. psychiatrists check charts to prescribe and treat patients rather than wholistically approaching the situation and individual. It’s frightening how we’ve devolved into black and white application of mass analytical data to address mental health problems.
HOW SILLY!!! Is anything ever black and white? Obviously I’m depressed – and medicine is not helping!
How did it get this bad and Where am I going?
At first I struggled with keeping up on exact growing requirements for some of the pickiest plant. I still loved and watered the rest, but with just a tad less attention. And so on and so on. Gradually my vast collection of at least 70 different species has whittled down to what I think are around maybe 30 left. Frankly – those guys are REALLY hanging in there. They HAVE to! These past 4-6 weeks, I don’t think I’ve watered once. I’m an expert grower – indoors, outdoors, hydroponics, I get into the depths of plant environment perfection – or I used to. Now I’m surrounded by REALLY sad looking plants. I thought I would bring them back to life two weeks ago, last week, yesterday, today – but I haven’t.
Worse yet, I focus on building an income through this business I decided to start – farming and gardening. Is that ironic enough for you?
Hopefully tomorrow I’ll water the survivors, and sweet talk both them and myself into believing I care again.
What I wanted to get across in this post – is that:
- the “taking stock” I posted before wasn’t quite as honest as I should have been.
- I’m trying to give a more realistic perspective – both for myself and anyone who cares to travel with me and
- placing an addict’s perspective on some of the black and white thinking that is so prevalent yet absolutely useless with respect to mental health training and treatment approaches.
