{"id":8,"date":"2022-11-29T09:30:00","date_gmt":"2022-11-29T09:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/imperfectpath2.wordpress.com\/2022\/11\/28\/sweet-success-2\/"},"modified":"2024-02-15T02:48:49","modified_gmt":"2024-02-15T02:48:49","slug":"taking-stock","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/imperfectpath.blog\/index.php\/2022\/11\/29\/taking-stock\/","title":{"rendered":"Taking Stock"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>In order to tell a story about change and recovery, it seems imperative to describe where I&#8217;m starting from. Taking stock of assets and liabilities &#8211; just not the financial kind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Good.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;ve been working for the past year or so to put myself in the best possible place to take on this journey. These steps include <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>a permanent relocation to the place I consider home after 20 years of constantly moving, <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>buying a house, re-structuring my work life including self-employment, and <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>building relationships with neighbors, new friends and new communities. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Overall &#8211; I wanted a strong sense of permanence -something worth fighting for. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Also on the positive side, I have no legal issues, I&#8217;m not physically addicted to alcohol (i.e., I don&#8217;t have serious physical withdrawal symptoms). I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world with instant access to hiking, the outdoors, places to meditate, etc. I have two absolutely incredible and successful children to be proud of. I have a fantastic source of motivation to succeed in this dream of building my own business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Bad.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Financially, I&#8217;m quite behind, and I only have a month or two left of runway to get things back on track. I have serious struggles with focus and memory loss. I have real issues staying on path and keeping a forward momentum going. Of course that&#8217;s absolutely critical to succeeding in a new business. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The urge to escape or experience some brief pleasure by drinking is really compelling. For that first hour &#8211; the relief, the relaxation, the melting away of all that constant intensity that I approach everything with is really hard to walk away from.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Ugly.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>I still have treatment-resistant depression, and I don&#8217;t know how I&#8217;m going to overcome it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;ve definitely done damage to relationships and my career in my alcohol-fueled moments. I have to admit &#8211; I don&#8217;t feel any urge to make repairs. I actually feel that if superficial damage can so easily  burn bridges, those bridges weren&#8217;t built on strong foundations to begin with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Summary<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Even considering my worst moments &#8211; the sacrifices, strengths, gifts, achievements still outweigh the moments when I faltered. In truth, alcohol has hurt me far more than anyone else. At least it&#8217;s a decent place to start from. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">\u201cGood actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others.\u201d \u2014 Plato<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In order to tell a story about change and recovery, it seems imperative to describe where I&#8217;m starting from. 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